Thursday, June 7, 2012

Evolution of my Marriage



In honor of my anniversary, I feel that I should write about something that I know I struggled with in the beginning of my marriage.  (Struggled... now that is the understatement of the century!)

Submission.


When I first joined into the covenant of marriage, I was a baby Christian.  I knew enough about God to feel comfortable sharing in Sunday School and to be able to usually follow along with the sermons.  Though I have to admit that at the time that was basically limited to what I read in my children's Bible!  I knew that I was loved more than I could ever understand, and I knew that *thankfully* my sins were forgiven.  That was about the extent of my understanding and knowledge of God.

As the wedding approached, I remember that my awesome brother-in-law gave us a list of scripture and told us to choose one.  (For those who don't know, we were blessed by having our brother marry us!)  So, like a "good" Christian, I sat down with my Bible and chose the scripture that I thought God wanted me to chose.  HA!  I chose the one with which I was most comfortable!

I chose Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.  (NIV)
Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Pretty good scripture, right?  If I need help with my chores, you need to help me.  If I fall down, you will help me up.  If I am cold, you will keep me warm.  If I need defended, you will come to my defense.  And yes, we will keep God in our marriage, because if it is the three of us we are invincible.  There is some seriously juvenile thinking right there!  After reading my own words, I believe that I thought marriage was a fall-back plan.
"If I can't make it on my own,
there is someone who is legally bound to help me."
Terrible way of thinking....

As I look back, I wish that I would have followed God's guiding and chose a different set of scriptures.  What I should have chosen was,

Ephesians 5:21-33 (NIV)
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
 As I grow in my walk with Christ, I love this set of scripture even more.  I have learned that this is not a decree allowing men to run roughshod over their wives.  Nor is it a call for women to be second class in their own lives.

In this passage, Paul is telling me to submit to my husband, not because he is in charge of me, not because he is a good person, and definitely not because he usually agrees with what I think.  No, I am called to submit to my husband because I love Christ.  (Wow, I need to stop for a minute and reread that and let it soak in!) 

In turn, Paul is also commanding my husband to love me as Christ loves the church.  Once again, he isn't supposed to love me for my good looks, or my wonderful cooking skills, or my ability to keep house.  He is called to love me because Christ loves his church.  (WHEW!  If it was totally based on my awesome skills I fear his love would very soon fade!)  

Several times I have been personally asked if I mind submitting to my husband.  I will answer that with a resounding, NO!  I have been blessed with a husband who, like it says in verses 28 and 29, loves me as he loves himself.  I know that in my submission, he will care for and provide for me and my family because he loves Jesus.




Lord, thank you for seeing beyond my infant heart and providing me with a wonderful man who devotes his life to you and his family.  Thank you for your grace and for covering the sins of my past, and for nurturing my confidence in your love.  Thank you for sending your son to provide the perfect marriage example.  Please guide me and my husband in your ways, that we may continue to live, grow, and raise our family, in your promise.  Thank you for four wonderful years, and I pray for many more.  Amen.




Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Tip of the Iceberg

Being a mom, I have had a few experiences where I have been simply overwhelmed with love for my daughter.  Times when I am struck speechless by the wonder and beauty that is my E-bugs. (Dads, I am sure you have had these experiences as well!) 

The most obvious was the first time I laid eyes on her.  As you may (or may not) know, my pregnancy was not exactly ideal.  I suffered some pretty nasty all day sickness for the first 14 weeks.  Then experienced the joy of sciatica from 16 to 22 weeks.  Just when I thought I was finally done with all the pain and terribleness... I had kidney stones that hurt so bad I started having contractions (not once but twice! at 23 and 25 weeks) and spent the last 11 weeks of my pregnancy in excruciating pain.  Needless to say, I was very overwhelmed when I finally got to meet this amazing little body (who did quite a number on mine!). 

She was so beautiful and perfect (all parents think that, right?)! 




There have been many other times.  Nothing extraordinary, normal kid stuff.  Like the first time she giggled, or the time when she spent 30 minutes taking weeds out of one bucket and putting them into another. Or even just last week, when she marched on over to our neighbors strawberry patch, picked a few berries, plopped and chowed down! 


The amount of joy and love that this one little person has invoked in me is absolutely astounding. 

As I sit in the moment, overwhelmed with love, I imagine God whispering in my ear... 

"And that's just the tip of the iceberg as to how much I love you."1

 Wow! 


Lord, as we go through our daily lives help us to recognize your great love for us, through our love for others.  Thank you for loving us more than we can even begin to fathom.  Amen!



1 - Ortberg, Nancy. Looking for God: An Unexpected Journey Through Tattoos, Tofu, and Pronouns. pg 5